Must she always cry at every little thing? I’m the one that was fooled. I’m the one that his so-called girlfriend cheated on. I’m the one that is supposed to be crying not her.
“Must you cry about everything?” I asked. “Ok, fine, just stop. I have forgiven you, just stop crying”
I thought that saying this will placate her but instead she started crying the more, throwing my hand around her neck, I drew her closer and hugged her. My anger had already varnished and now I’m consoling the person that was supposed to be consoling me.
“It is ok now, just stop”
“I am sorry, I didn’t want you to get hurt, I am sorry” she sobbed.
“It is ok, I know you did it for me ok?” I said and rocked her.
I held her till she stopped crying. We stayed through the night hardly saying a word to each other. In the morning, we prepared for school and left. Though I wanted to forget the whole incident but a part of me wanted to see Oge. I wanted to pour out my anger on her. I just wanted to see her and tell her some hurtful things. I called her after my lectures and told her to meet me at the quadrangle around my department. I sat on the pavement, pressing my phone and waiting for Oge. About twenty minutes later, she came and sat beside me.
“Good evening, what’s up?” she greeted.
“I’m good. How are you?”
“I’m fine, just there”
“You had lectures today?” I asked trying to ease the anger building up inside me.
“Yea, just one. Are you ok?”
“Yes I’m fine”
“Is he the guy you are still with?” I asked her. I know that was the least of the things she was expecting me to ask.
“Hmmmm? Who?” she asked confused.
“The guy you were straffing behind my back in first year, or rather the guy you were straffing me behind his back”
“Oh! I guess she has told you already. I expected that a long time ago” she replied.
“That is not the answer to my question”
“No, I’m not with him anymore. We ended things a long time ago”
“Why did you do that? You should have told me that you were tired of me instead of fooling me”
“Purity, I didn’t fool you. I feel bad for what I did but I don’t regret it. And just for the records, you pushed me into it”
“You gotta be kidding me. How did I push you into it? I loved you with my life then, how could you say that I pushed you into cheating on me?”
“See Purity, we have to stop this, whatever happened between us is way back. We shouldn’t dig up buried issues. We were definitely very immature then. Let’s just try to make things right from now onwards”
“No tell me, how did I push you into having affairs behind my back?”
“You pushed me away when you started giving all your attention to Precious. You pushed me away when you started ‘doing’ her behind my back. You pushed me away when she started doing what I was supposed to be doing for you and you never objected. Purity I’m a girl. I have feelings. You were my boyfriend and not hers. Even when I complained, you never heeded my complaints”
“I never ‘did’ Precious when we were together. She knew you were my girlfriend and she even had a boyfriend then. So this was the reason you started doing another guy, to get back at me?”
“It wasn’t to get back at you. I was lonely and depressed. You stopped giving me attention. The guy was always there for me. But even at that I still cared about you”
“I guess that is supposed to atone for what you did?”
“No but ………..it is not like I was always doing the guy, it happened just once. I severed ties with him when Precious made me end things with you”
“You know what? The truth is that I wanted you to deny this. I was expecting you to tell me that it was a frame up. Yes it’s the past but knowing it now hurts. I wanted you to tell me something different despite the fact that I already know the truth”
“That is something I swore not to do if this ever comes out. I’m sorry, I can’t deny it or lie to you about it”
“It’s ok. You don’t have to be sorry. When she told me everything I felt bad and hurt. I had many hurtful things I want to say to you, but now I guess I can’t even say them anymore”
“Purity I’m very sorry, maybe you should say them. It might make you feel better”
I don’t know why but all of a sudden, tears started gathering in my eyes. I wanted to talk but couldn’t find my voice. The tears were coming so quick that I had to raise my head to avoid tearing down. That was the least reaction I expected from myself that moment. I sniffed and looked away not wanting to disappoint myself anymore. I wanted to wrap things up with her immediately and leave but my emotions were disappointing me. I cleared my throat twice before I found my voice.
“I guess this is where we call it quits properly. I have always felt this guilt thinking that I ended what we had then, but knowing that it was you that dumped my sorry a*s now makes me feel better………..”
“Purity listen to me” she said interrupting me halfway. “Ever since that happened I have always wanted to make things right since we parted. My heart always skip each time I see your call. I have always wanted to come back and tell you the truth but I guess I never found the courage to not until recently. I want to make things right between us if you would allow me but if not, then I guess she has won again and for the last time”
Before she could finish what she was saying tears were already streaming down my eyes. I couldn’t believe myself for reacting that way.
“Please let’s not see each other again” I said and hurried away before she could say another word.
Our emotions can really run out of our control sometimes. When I got home, I ate from the left over of the food Precious prepared the previous day. It was still early to sleep around 6pm but I didn’t mind. I switched off my phone and slept off.